'I'm not your mum'

Hey there, I've been in bed and ill for the first 3 days of this week, so not too much happened then, but I think I can muster a few tales of embarrassment and a couple of photos. Let's go!

Songs of the week - Keane 'Somewhere only we know'
                               Nizlopi 'JCB song'

Football

It's been a weird old week (using the word weird because I only learned how to spell the word this week), I was sleeping off and on and watching football with my dad. My family only very recently got 'Sky' when we moved into the new house, it's great having all the channels and pretty much unlimited choice over what to watch, the only problem is, my dad is usually watching the sport and my mum is watching a house hunting programme with the balding heart-throb - Phil spencer. I don't know about anyone reading this but football intimidates me, not the sport, not playing it, but the talking about it, I don't know any players, I can just about follow a football team (Ipswich town, bottom of the league right now with an absent manager) but when someone tries to engage in a conversation on a level about players, I don't really know what to say. Massive men in British pubs talking about 'the game', that's not where I belong.

Library 

I live round the corner (plus a little walk) from a fantastic library, not boasting, just putting it out there. And I read, ladies, form a queue. I've spent the second half of my week trying to hunt down a book called 'Outlaw', after finishing one of series of Angus Donald books, I realised I had read the third one in the saga, so now my goal is to read the other three, not a major goal, just one I could probably accomplish.

The Manly yawn 

I realised something this week, I realised (using the word 'realised' twice because spell check doesn't like it) that when I walk down the street and a person, usually male is walking towards me on the same path, I will yawn, I don't mean to do it, but I literally do it all the time. After realising this, I tried hard not to be 'The guy who yawns at people' but I can't stop myself, maybe I should get more sleep.

Friday, Saturday

It's Friday, I have already broken up from school like a relationship turned sour and the half term is mine, trouble is, I don't want half term yet, I've spent most of the week away from school, I kind of want to be out of the house, when I feel like this, I head to Folkestone, the town of all my dreams. Not. I set the sky box to record Derren Brown's 'Apocalypse', which is convenient because when walking through Folkestone town, it feels like walking through an apocalyptic world and head out on the train, the evening goes fine, etc. until I try ringing home. Separate paragraph needed for this. Pretty embarrassing, even for me.

I can't remember why I was ringing home but I can remember what I said, the conversation went abit like this:

*Ring Ring*

Person at the other end of the phone: Hello

Me: Hi mum, it's William

Person: It's Callum's mum, I am a mum but I'm not yours Will

Me (Struggling for what to say): Oh, in that case, goodbye

I had rung my best friend's house and called his mum my mum. What must she have thought? 'Oh, that Will just rings up peoples houses and accuses them of being his mum, he just does it for kicks'. So yeah, pretty awkward.

Until next week

Will - Are you my mummy? - That doctor who episode scared the living daylights out of me.

Oh. For. Folks'. Sake. I'm. So. Ill

Hello there, I am so ill, it isn't even funny, not that it's funny when I'm usually ill. I have the worst cold I have ever had. Ever. Since last week, I have been surrounded by germs, whether it be a man on a bus who kept coughing and sneezing, dirty computers at school with over the top bacteria or my friends Toby and Alex licking the back of my hand when I wasn't paying attention because they realised that I don't like to be licked (Because that's a thing they do). I mean come on, it was hard to avoid the nasty cold. But I digress, on with the post.

Song of the week - Jonny Kearney & Lucy Farrell - Letters to Lenore

Monday

I'm not sure if it happened this particular day because it happens literally every day. One word, the word that must not be spoken because it just feels wrong. Stagecoach. I hate this company with a passion, the whole setup of public transport buses puts my stomach on edge. So it's pouring with rain, I stand alongside some other bus-takers and wait for the 15X, this is a bus which is never on time, it literally surprises me when it is on time, to the point where I have to check my watch hasn't stopped. I get on, sit down on the right side in the middle because I only sit on the right side of any vehicle. Sad, I know. The music is on and the bus ride is going fine, there's a sticky patch on the floor but I try not thinking too much about it, when suddenly a giant of a man gets on, literally huge, he falls into the seat next to me, pulls out a hanker-chief and coughs, only half on the cloth. This happens until we near where I have to get off, I panic, this man is quite old, is he able to stand up to let me off the bus or is he going to stay seated and make me climb across him? Will I have to forcibly move him to get past him or will he fight back? Maybe he does want a fight. I look down at myself to see I am not in peak physical shape and realise that I could not take on this man in a fight. I then contemplate just waiting it out, missing my stop entirely and out of politeness and social embarrassment just stay on the bus until this man needs to get off. Just as my crazy train of thought builds up into whether I should make a big thing of pressing the button, maybe nod at him at the same time, he presses the button, he is getting off at the same place as me. I get off and I have never seen that giant of a man since. Maybe he reads minds.

Thursday

This is the day where I spent the afternoon in the local library. No, really, I did. I spent the morning doing some ICT coursework and generally moping around being very ill, but in the afternoon I had to get out. I decided to sit in the nice warm library rather than the nice warm house. I walked through the misty entrance into a world where it was clear that I was out of my depth, I had no idea what the normal behavior was in a library, do people normally just sit down and read? Am I supposed to announce what I read to my piers? Do I take down a piece of classic English literature, turn to the rest of the room and say in my poshest accent, 'I will now be reading a piece of classic English literature', furthermore will people then look up from their classic English literature and applaud me, will I be congratulated and told that it was a fantastic read and that I should come here more often? No, what actually happened is I sat down with non fiction book called ' Kent's crime', great opening, satisfying middle, disappointing end.

So sorry for the briefness of this week's post, I am so tired and ill I think I will just go to bed, maybe a relaxing Sunday will kill off this cold, cheers for reading.

Until next week

Will :)

My band finally got on a CD

Hello! No! Don't go, I am sorry I didn't do a post yesterday, I was out last night and I have so much to show and tell you that I didn't want to rush it. How have you been? Good? Ah that's nice, well here's what I got up to in the week and as promised, some of mine, Lauras and Teddy's music. Let's kick it. Not literally, just, a tap to get the week going.

Song of the week - 'Alleyway' by Life In Film

Sunday - My nan has Twitter.

A week ago today, my Nan and Grandad came over for what has to be one of the best roast dinners I have ever had. Something my Nan found hilarious was the fact that I had essentially broken into her house, eaten her food and left without much of a trace. She had blamed my Grandad for eating some biscuits, I am not sure how long she will dine off this tale but I can already feel it being written into a birthday card or two. Like  her birthday this year where inside the card I put a note saying '1 Fully paid ticket to the old people's home'. I'm such a good grandson. Anyway, onto the thing that physically made me step back and laugh quite hard, my Nan has a twitter (the thing that young people have where they tell the world whenever they do something non significant, such as 'eating a piece of toast LOL'), she said that she only got it so that she could complain to Morrisons for something about bananas, I blew her mind when I asked what she put as the hash tag (#). My only fear is that my Nan will have more followers than me. I have still not found her twitter but I am sure I will stumble across it.

Monday - Drunk Douglas

The day was Monday, I was waiting for my friend Sarah to give her guitar capo back when along wanders a guy stumbling up to me, with my purple headphones, I was naturally terrified. 'Scuse me mate', the eloquent gentleman spoke, 'You English?', my foreign looks had potentially let me down, 'Urm, yeah', 'you play guitar?', 'Yeah I do' I replied. 'What are you doing Will? Just walk away, nobody normally takes an interest in the guitar on my back' I thought. 'Ah, well when you make a CD mention me, my name's Douglas' he said as he tripped off the curb but somehow stayed upright, like a very drunk super hero. I agreed and left pretty promptly, so if I'm ever big and famous, I'll dedicate it to you drunk Douglas. I never did give the capo back to Sarah.

Wednesday - The horror film 

My friends Toby, Alex, Will and I have been watching horror film trailers all week, we so happened to stumble upon a horror film just released and decided to go on the Wednesday. Toby's mum was taking us which meant because I was in the front seat - an awkward conversation with a woman I had only met once. She was very nice though and the whole journey was made up of Toby, Will and Alex bigging themselves up and saying how scared I'd be. They were right to do so. The film was literally the scariest film I'd ever seen, plus the most gory, scenes of people being decapitated and children killing their families. When I got back I noticed that there was a massive hole in my bedroom ceiling (picture 3), my dad had apparently put his foot through the roof and I could now partially see into my loft, it really didn't help that the film was based around a mass murderer who lift in the family's loft. How I wish we had seen Madagascar 3.

Saturday two sessions of recording and we almost lost Laura

My band is on a CD. Granted its with other musicians and we are really just a filler for 10 minutes but us, on a CD that people can buy, that's crazy. Lemme take you back a few hours:

10:00 AM - I wake up and nobody is in the house, I find a note saying 'William, hoover the house and make sure your room is tidy, Kevin is coming to look at the ceiling'. This is a bit weird, is that a job? Somebody who just comes to look at the ceiling? The funny thing is, that is literally what he did, he walked into my room, saw the hole and said 'Yeah, I'll fix that', I could have done that!

12:00 PM - Teddy and Laura arrive, I show them both the hole in my roof and we get down to some serious catching up. Because that's how a band meeting should be - Oh hey, the ceiling might fall down, but anyway, what have you been up to?.

13:00 PM - After deciding the songs we are going to play that evening, we head into town to buy some lunch, I say lunch, Laura bought an advent calender and had that for lunch, I had some pom bear crisps and Teddy ate some cold pizza, an army marches on its stomach, my band plays on fizzy drinks and hate from Santa Claus.

14:00 PM - We decide to record some music, just a couple of songs that we have written and a cover or two, I will put the links at the bottom of this post.

16:00 PM - after sitting in different rooms trying to write more songs, we give up and myself and Laura start doing dance moves to one of the songs we recorded. The embarrassing video is going to be put at the bottom of the post.

7:00 PM - We roll to the venue. And by that I mean we walk very slowly to the church where the CD is being recorded. I don't like churches, they are boring, cold and depressing, so I go to the corner shop to buy some munchies. Just as we get into the church and are told what is going to happen, we ask where Laura is, the lady who is organising says 'Well, I got her email, she said she was coming, I am sure she will be here in a minute', this scares me and Teddy because Laura was literally going in the door when we last saw her, I panicked, ran down to the road and started calling out her name, like she was some kind of lost puppy. Suddenly, she walks down towards me and all is well. The gig goes very well and the CD is out in the next month, I will give more details when I get them.

So all in all, it's been a funny kind of week, apologies that the writing has not been amazing but to make up for it, here is some of our music:

(Appologies for the volume on my song, you need to turn it up quite high to hear it but remember to turn it back down after!)

Will Inglis' song 'Invisible man' - By For Folks' Sake.

Laura Fairfax's song - By For Folks' Sake

Adele - Rolling in the deep - Covered by For Folks' Sake

Keston Cobbler's Club - You Go - Covered by For Folks' Sake + Will and Laura's dance

Until the next time

Will :)

Muchos Muchos appologies

Hey there, the blog will come tomorrow, I am so tired, I have just been at a recording session with the band. Tomorrow's blog will have songs, videos, pictures and of course, this charming man.

Post number one - A sad goodbye and a mistaken identity

Woah, hey there! It's me, you know, that charming young man from that highly intellectual blog and guess what, I'm back, in a different format with the same kind of embarrassing stories. I've had a couple of weeks off and I am back. I'll be doing these posts once a week-ish, not for a specific amount of time, but hey, let's get this show on the road.

Song of the week; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJA69C6SlRk

Today we say goodbye to a fantastic man 

Okay, so this happened at the end of last week but I wanted to put it in here. My Grandad's funeral was last week and it was very sad, the journey that I had been making almost every year since I was 11 was to be made again, under very sad circumstances, I may never go back there but I'm glad I said goodbye. 

Oh my god, it's Marvin from JLS!

Thursday night and I am meeting my friends Phoebe and Steff at the local skate park. We sit and talk for about 20 minutes until one of their friends come. In the half light I can see that she is almost completely out of it, drunk to the point of not caring. Phoebe and Steff are talking to the girl while I play tetris on my phone when suddenly I hear, "Oh my god, it's Marvin from JLS", I look up to see she is shouting this to me, I reply with, "urm...Hullo" (no idea why I did this), the next thing I know she thrusts her half empty Strongbow bottle at me and demands that I sign it, I don't know why I did it but I was actually signing it - "Marvin, from JLS" with a star next to it because I imagine that's what celebrity's signitures look like. I think the laughable ordeal is over when suddenly she shouts out, "hey guys, come here, it's Marvin from JLS", suddenly out of the darkness comes 15 other teenagers, all very drunk, all willing to accept that I was the pop star. Hugs and handshakes come at me from all angles, once again I am signing bottles and pieces of paper, a group of girls is now around me asking me how 'Aston' was and if a new album was to be released, before I could answer a boy shouts out, "a photo, take a photo", soon after, cameras appear and flash is going off left right and centre. I hope that these teenagers woke up Friday morning, were confused by the signed drinks bottles and looked at their phones, seen the photos and vowed never ever to drink again. I made my escape from the "fans" when one boy turned to another and said, "I f*cking hate JLS, I'm gonna headbutt him". I think it's safe to say I had my fifteen minutes of fame.

Friday is gig night

The end of the week is so good, there is not a drug in the world that can make you feel as good as the Friday feeling. I'd like to retract that statement because I have just been told that ecstasy is abit like the Friday feeling but while having the Friday feeling you are riding purple dragons and eating tubby custard with Mr Blobby (hallucinations may vary). But yeah, I had a few songs ready to be tried out in front of a fairly tame lovely group of people. Teddy came and just behind Teddy was Teddy version 2, Teddy 2.0 if you like, or to give him his actual title, Teddy's brother, Rory. Rory was in flip flops, a t-shirt and shorts, it was 7 degrees outside. 7. I got up and played my first song 'Leezie Lindsay', I played it at my Grandad's funeral and it had a really strong effect, it had a slightly different one in this music club. People had been drinking for about 2 hours so people were fairly tipsy, by the second chorus I had people stamping their feet and singing along but my favourite reaction was from a guy called Dean who came out of the toilets behind the performing area at this exact time that I was playing and tried to cover this fact up by standing next to me and doing a very slow 'robot' dance, but instead of a sleek cool computer style robot dance, he ended up doing a drunk washing machine style walk.

Saturday, wait

Okay, so it's Saturday, I have just had a curry, a cider, seen the football team that I support get stuffed 2-1 and am now writing this after a pretty normal day for me. The day started with a train journey to Folkestone, I was going to meet my friend Arthur and chill out in Folkestone. I was on the train listening to music, in my own little world thinking about how weird it is that all the people on this train and in my carriage would never be in the same place ever again, how this was a once in a lifetime oppertunity to meet these people when suddenly a hand is infront of my face, waving. I instantly jump up and hit my head on the overhead shelves, it's the ticket man, he just wanted my ticket but instead ended up with a lanky teenager in some slapstick comedy. I met my friend Arthur, he beat me on his play station and I left knowing that I had done my part in our friendship. On the platform that I was standing on a homeless man was begging for "any small change", most people were ignoring him but I didn't, I strolled up, dropped 2 pounds into his cup and said, "you need it more than I do mate", I had literally become the hero in society, I walked away thinking I was a modern day Jesus, I tripped and had to check nobody was looking, I'm Will and everybody was looking.

That's your lot, see ya!